- Event Location:
- Muddy Bottom Site
- Event Format:
- Camp and play
- Organisers:
- Stodd
- Winner:
- No one!
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Sat. 21st July
You can plan something as much as you like! The weather will never play ball.
The long awaited weekend was here, and the weather men reckoned there was rain hammering down everywhere. The decision was taken to call the camp site
and the off road site to see if they were still open. Both seemed a little confused by our calls. "Shut, why would we be shut?" That's why I
love areas of small communities. They are a lot like America in that they have no idea there are other places in the world, which may or may not be
experiencing differing weather conditions to their own.
The one problem with this way of life, as we would find out, is they are unable to give directions from anywhere further afield than the end of their
own back garden. Like the tw@t that I am, I left the piece of paper with the addresses and phone numbers of the camp site and off road site in Stoo's
kitchen. All we had was a mark on the lap-top where we thought the off road site should be, and two phone numbers stored randomly on my mobile with no
names.
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The journey down was fairly un-eventful. Si, Stoo and I met up with Jeff at Clacket Lane, and made our way through torrential rain along the M20 and M25.
Luckily the rain cleared when we found the M3. We arrived at the blip on our map by the shortest geographical route, which is neither the quickest or easiest
way to get there, and couldn't find any evidence of an off road site, or camp site, or a pub. We did a lap of the clump of trees our waypoint was sitting on,
and no luck. We did a larger lap and found where we were supposed to come off the A31. With a new land mark in my head, I tried again running through the
directions I could remember earlier, and ended up in the same place as before! We all checked our phones but nobody had any signal, I thought of asking for
directions but the only living soul we found walking around was a horse. Sitting at the cross-roads we had approached now from two directions already,
we decided it couldn't be straight on because that was a dead end, so we turned left and at length found ourselves at The New Forest Inn. The pub must
have its own mobile phone mast. I was able to call the camp site and find out where they were exactly. The conversation was a comedy in itself.
"Go straight on past the pub"
"From which direction?"
"Well you're coming from Lyndhurst"
"I can assure you I'm not"
"Oh, which pub are you at then?"
The phone cut out. When it found another signal a different person answered my call, the camp site is the only thing down the only exit of the cross-roads
we hadn't tried yet. We had been in the right place all along but didn't know, indeed couldn't tell.
Apologies again to Si, Stoo and Jeff.
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After all that we had set up our tents, helped push a van out the camp site, and got bored by 4.30 in the afternoon. Even Stoo said it was too early to
start drinking. Luckily Jeff was low on fuel, which gave us something to do, and given our navigational disaster on the way in, the decision was taken to
get do it now whilst it was still light and we had some idea of where we were. Fortunately we knew what we where doing by now and found ourselves back at
The New Forest Inn by 5.30.
The only other memorable thing which happened that night was Simon smashing a beer bottle on my back bumper. In hindsight we could probably have found a
better place to hang a bin bag which was, after all, for empty beer bottles.
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Sun. 22nd July
The off road site is brilliant. It is easily big enough for all of us and as many of the Flanders as we can tempt back over here next year. There are some
very large bomb hole for testing approach angles and articulation, some long climbs for testing the weight of your right foot (Alex do it), and some very
deep water holes.
We started off by following one of the site marshals round to get an idea of the boundary of the site, but got bored waiting for everyone who had turned
up in "shinys" getting stuck. We tore off and waited for our guide to catch us up at the entrance, and followed him in another direction when he
turned up. Shortly afterwards he found someone to rescue and we went off and did our own thing. Although trouble wasn't far ahead, the biggest bonus of
this site quickly made itself apparent. Si, Jeff and I were able to drive round in a group of three. If we came to a particularly harsh section of track,
there was always somewhere for the 110 to go that would meet up with us round the corner. Similarly, if Si or I got bored, we could dive off into the
woods and lean sideways for a bit before popping back out on to the track a little further down.
Eventually we came across a Wrangler trying to winch itself out of a hole and set up to help. As we finished our friendly marshal turned up and asked how
we were doing, before informing me that the water in the hole in front us was really deep, and we should just go round. Wrong thing to say!
"You'll only end up winching yourself out"
This only encouraged me more, not to prove him wrong specifically, but the gauntlet had definitely been thrown down!
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Well, he was right. As soon as the nose of truck hit the water I knew I wasn't going through. I could see nothing but ditch water. I tried reverse, but I
was actually floating I think. It didn't even twitch backwards. Luckily Si was already in position to pull me out, and Stoo quickly jumped onboard to grab
the winch rope. As everyone outside busied themselves with their jobs and took pictures, I surveyed my situation. Water was being forced in through the
holes in the floor so fast it formed a jet, just high enough to arc round, and plonk itself on the passenger seat. I couldn't see the pedals already and
I could see there was a good few inches to go before the water inside the car was going to be at the same level as the water outside. With the rope
attached I winched in, not driving yet because I still couldn't see the pedals, the forward progress was good. 8274's are amazing aren't they? As the
nose lifted out of the water everyone said Uuurrggh, or Yuk or something along those lines, and I knew what state the front of my cars was in. With the
truck pitching about my shoes slipped off the dashboard and I got wet feet anyway, so I decided it was time to help the winch out. I found a gear and
started to drive the wheels, and then, I know not how, stalled the engine. As I turned the key off and back on again to re-start the engine, the ARB
compressor hissed and then jumped into life to re-lock the diffs. It was still under water! I did turn it off but it was too late, I wouldn't be using
them again today. With the truck on level ground I opened the door and everyone cheered as half of the water from the puddle (or loch) made its way
back to where it had come from. Hopefully there will be some pictures of all this somewhere soon.
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We made our way back to the lunch area via a cleaner hole to wash the under side of my car, and when I turned the engine off I noticed the immobiliser
light was on. The engine wouldn't start. Things where getting worse. Si gave me a sandwich and told me to try it again later. Amazingly it worked, so we
went back to the axle twisters. I found an amazingly steep slope and decided it was driveable.
It wasn't! I switched the engine off and waited for Si to get in position himself to pull me out. As I sat there, watching Stoo trip over foliage on the
floor because he was looking at me through a view finder, the dashboard fizzed and the immobiliser light came back on again. If I knew any prayers, I
believe I would have said them. Fortunately it did go, and at length came back up the slope. I headed off in search of something else. Something to
climb, I can normally do that. I found a slope with two trees real close together at the top. The climb was easy, but the front wheels got wedged
between the two trees, and the revs fell. Then three things happened. I got cross. I engaged first gear with loads of throttle. Then I wished I hadn't.
The truck leapt through the hole, but it was too wide. As the wheels came down to the floor there was a series of cracks and snaps. I went back to the
picnic area to assess the new damage and the passenger door wouldn't open. I decided to call it a day whilst I still had some car to drive home in.
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On the plus side:-
I spoke to a bloke called Joe who runs the site. He said we can hire it for club days etc.
Si and Jeff did no damage at all, so it isn't compulsory to hurt your vehicle whilst you're there.
And the scenery is something to behold.
Even with everything that went wrong, I still had an excellent time. The site is far enough away to make the journey to it a decent road trip, without being too far.
Cheers to Si, Stoo and Jeff for making the trip a giggle, Where we goin' next?
Stodd
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And the moment you have all been waiting for...........................
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